Mothica - "Kissing Death"

The most toxic relationship

Turbulence at 30,000 feet.

It scares people. Frequently.

For McKenzie Ashton Ellis, otherwise known as Mothica, it was a revelation which kickstarted the inspiration for her third album, Kissing Death.

Mothica is an Alt-Rock and Electropop artist originally from Oklahoma City, OK. She’s also a survivor. Sexual assault. Addiction. Self-harm.

Suicidal ideation.

It’s this final item — or, rather, the realization that she was free from it — which drives the throughline of Kissing Death. Because as the plane shook, she realized, for the first time, that she didn’t want to die.

The album’s ‘thesis statement’, as it were, comes in Track 3, “Another High”:

“How do you live when you don’t wanna die anymore?”

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It is fitting, I think, that I’m getting to this review during Suicide Awareness and Prevention Month.

The story of Kissing Death is Mothica’s story — the story of her lifelong relationship with Death, suicidal ideation, and darkly romantic notions that dying young was beautiful. Rocksound has an excellent piece which they’ve put together discussing the story in depth with a lot of quotes from Mothica, herself. She is open about her many traumas and the long road to recovery.

Mothica survived — barely — and was hospitalized from a suicide attempt on January 29, 2011, at the age of 15.

She is 29 years old now.

If you have thoughts of suicide, you are not alone.

Dial or text 988, or visit the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline website to chat online, use their ASL service, or find more information.

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Mothica is an artist who I was not familiar with before — she has, unfortunately, escaped my notice until this point. But Kissing Death is a find that I have been loving.

It is Pop-leaning, particularly towards Electropop and Synthwave, as there is a lot of synth usage, courtesy of producer David Burris, who Rocksound’s Maddy Howell describes as “a whizz with synths and soundscapes,” and Mothica says “…is so good at the cinematic shoegaze sound.” The darker tone of the songs, though, is what firmly binds the “Darkwave” genric label in my head, though.

There are also rock elements scattered throughout numerous songs, as rock and emo have always been strong influences for her.

But most of all, it’s the vibes and the lyrics. While I wouldn’t go so far as to truly term this album as “shoegaze” or “dream pop”, it comes close, and it is intensely atmospheric and cinematic. The dark tone makes it feel somewhat witchy, though that’s more correlation than causation (I’m still going to be applying the “Witchy” tag, though, because I firmly believe that anybody looking for witchy vibes will enjoy this).

There are strong hooks in most of the 12 songs — and I only say “most” because one of those is a 92-second intro track, “The Void”, which is like half-song, half-vibe. The album is filled with incredibly catchy songs with varied instrumentation and stylistic approaches as Mothica explores the full range of her sound, including lot of strong electronic elements, and touches of Trance and Dance and Grunge and Country.

Earlier, I mentioned that many of the songs also feel ‘cinematic’. This is a crucial element of their composition, given the ambition of the overall project — Mothica has poured all of herself into this album, and ‘all of herself’ includes a serious love of videography and editing. As she tells Rocksound, “…I went to school for visual art. I love telling stories in a visual way, and I wanted to see what would happen if I did this.”

By ‘this’, she means recording a music video for every song, turning Kissing Death into a visual album. The videos have been dropping onto her YouTube channel every few days, and, as of the time of this writing, there are only two left: intro track “The Void” and Track 2, “Exit Plan”.

As good and eclectic as the album’s overall sound and individual compositions are; as solid and personal and emotional as its throughline is; as incredibly ambitious and downright awesome as it is that Kissing Death is getting the visual album treatment; its true strength is in Mothica’s lyricism, which simultaneously channels hope and despondency; gritty reality and the innocence of youth. If you’ve ever dealt with any of the album’s central thematic elements: depression, trauma, or addiction, to name a few, there are lines throughout the album which will attack you. You will feel attacked.

Otherwise, if you’re a sucker for poetry, I guarantee you’ll find lines which stick out for you.

And no, I’m not going to share mine. That would be telling.

Truly, the album’s only weakness is its length, at only 32 minutes long. But it’s a unique and revelatory 32 minutes. The songs are interesting and engrossing enough to short-circuit my disdain for sub-three-minute tracks.

Kissing Death rates highly for me. It’s one of my favorite discoveries of the year thus far. But I’m having trouble deciding right this moment if it’s above that 9.5 cutoff; still, I strongly recommend this one if you like your music both iconically catchy and tonally dark.

Don’t sleep on this one. I told you guys last year that half of the tracks on Chappell Roan’s album were literally perfection, and she didn’t blow up until this year.

I need a bigger audience, I guess.

Rating: Lavender Purple